so let's talk penis.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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