Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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