Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
