38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
