You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize