One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
