U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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