Pregnant stripper...not hot.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Its about making memories worth repressing
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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