After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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