You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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