brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize