Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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