You're my little dorito
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
