I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
