Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
