No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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