Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
