as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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