My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
