im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
