And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
