Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The adults are the big ones right?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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