Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
