She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Randomize
