So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize