i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize