perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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