I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
