Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
