doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
