i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just want to make out with him forever
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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