he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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