i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
