I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
