Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
