no. you can't hotbox the world.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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