So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You're like the curious george of whores
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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