you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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