If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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