dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
