I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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