there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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