Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
