Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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