I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
