we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
