So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
