if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
