her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
