Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
