Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
