Have you finally orgasmed yet?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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