And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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