i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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