My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
