if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
operation have a gay friend backfired
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
