I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
