i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
