I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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