So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
