You're so nebulous sometimes
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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