his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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