in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
