No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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