Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
