Only a mothe r could love this liver
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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