I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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